Este:“I’m not coming unless Sythyry is there, and with plentiful
cley for healing spells, too!”

Phaniet:“Well, there’s the lizard now. Invite zir
yourself.”

Este:“Me? Don’t be ridiculous. Zie actually listens
to you.”

Me:“I’ll listen to either of you … are you planning an
adventure?”

Phaniet:“Yes — a culinary adventure. Bwipin invited me
and a few friends.”

Me:“Gutrumy House?”

Este:“Gutrumy House — the Restaurant of Death!”

Gutrumy House

Here’s what one guidebook has to say about Gutrumy House.

Gutrumy House is the brainchild of a mushroom-loving Rassimel chef and his
husband, the former head of the Healer’s Guild. It is based on three basic
principles:

  1. Mushrooms are delicious;
  2. Some mushrooms are poisonous;
  3. This should not prevent people from enjoying them

Accordingly, this small and exclusive restaurant serves an unusually broad
variety of comestables, including many that are generally not regarded as
generally comestable. The entire staff (all Rassimel) is trained in the use
of healing and detoxification spells. No more diners are allowed than the
restaurant has cley and staff available to heal them. The food is quite good,
though it tends to feature ingredients and presentation more than the delicate
harmonies or intense flavors of more conventional Srineian eateries. Despite
the reputation, the menu is largely non-toxic. Prices of poisonous dishes are
quite high, as they include the cley to heal you as well as the rare
ingredients to feed you. Prices of non-poisonous dishes are also high
compared to other Eigrach restaurants. The menu changes by season and
availability of ingredients, though grilled and sautéed mushrooms are
always the centerpiece and always a very unusual treat — and the frisson of
danger is an extra bit of spice.

The Plan

Este:“I cannot believe that you want to
go there.”

Phaniet:“It sounds interesting and delicious!”

Este:“And poisonous!”

Phaniet:“Foods I would never get to taste ordinarily!”

Windigar:“I’m in, if the invitation is open enough.”

Este:“Are you trying to make time with my wife, nominally cissy
boy?”

Windigar:“I am trying to protect her honor from Lord Bwipin’s
inevitable drunken advances! You could do it yourself if you
wanted.” Everyone smirked.

Me:“I’ll go. Not that I am particularly eager to sample deadly
fungi, but Phaniet knows too many of my secrets. Bwipin is sure to ply her
with some mysterious Srineian mind-control mushroom and rip them from her
psyche. Just like he forgot to do the last four times they got
together.” Actual reason: I had been meaning to try it out. It
sounds interesting, in a way that is, honestly, less doom than my usual
life.

Phaniet:“I can take care of myself.” Which is
approximately true.

Kantele:“I’ll go. I’m not much longer for this life anyhow. I
might as well die over a plate of fine mushrooms as anything.” (No,
she’s not that old.)

Este:“Fine, I’ll come, I’ll come. Sythyry, Phaniet, what kind of
healing precautions do you guys have?”

Me:“Reasonably good ones grafted. I don’t know exactly what’s in
the cabinet.”

Phaniet:“In the cabinet are: four talismans conferring immunity
to the four most common kinds of poison, two unlimited-healing devices, a
broad-spectrum antitoxin that Sythyry made for the Daukrhame city guard
not long before some international incident made the sale impossible and
zie never got around to selling since then, and sundry lesser
devices.”

Me:“Oh, that cursed, cursed talisman.” I had tried to sell
it to two other cities, too, but it’s a fairly expensive device (following
normal enchanter prices) and I didn’t want to get into the habit of selling
things too cheaply, so I still have it.

Este:“What curse did you put on it, and should I rely on that
curse to save my life?”

Me:“Not a technically cursy curse. I just should have sold it
fifty years ago.”

Phaniet:“But technically we don’t bring our own healing, they
supply it. Though I wouldn’t mind having some extra, as backup.”