I should write down some of the meal, because it really was exceptional
and unusual, and I won’t be having many of the more interesting dishes any
time soon. (Unless I go back to Gutrumy House, which I might.)

I don’t much feel like it, because, of course, of the doom.

Naturally there was doom at the poison mushroom restaurant.

Naturally it had nothing to do with the poison. That part of the meal
worked just fine. The most trouble we had was with the big green glowing
mushrooms, with an utterly exquisite flavor and an utterly non-exquisite
amount of itchy poison. Since it was large, several of us made the mistake of
cutting it up and eating it in several mouthfuls, and itching furiously for
the last half of the course.

Also I don’t really remember very much about the third course. I was distracted.

The Third Course

It was all quite innocent really.

Kantele:“The work on the skyboat has been a bit slow.
Perhaps that’s just because Sythyry has been working exceedingly fast and
you’re not ready for it”

Bwipin:“Well, yes, we are a blasted bit disorganized here and
there about the guilds, aren’t we? We’re still trying to sort out the
finances, wouldn’t you know. Are we counting your ship repairs as ‘road
maintenance’ or ‘building that new sewer everyone agrees we need’? Not
that that’s your problem though.”

Kantele:“But at least that fine gentleman Thenel has paid us two
investigative visits and been attending to preliminary matters.”

Bwipin:“Well, yes, though I must admit that’s rather on his own
initiative, since the lozens that will pay him for it are still earmarked
for expanding some pond or other … I suppose he’s already gotten paid
and well-paid for his efforts though.”

There was a rather awkward moment, as most of us interpreted Bwipin’s
statement to mean “I, Bwipin, know all about Sythyry’s little adventure
with Thenel, and consider the lizard’s sexual favors to be payment enough for
Thenel’s survey.” But Bwipin had made a few references to our
deviances before, and always with considerable smirking and sly words. This
time his manner was just his usual conversational manner, without any special
emphasis or winking.

Phaniet:“What do you mean?”

Bwipin:“Well, not him, quite. But Rehit got that quite
wonderful magic sword already.”

Me: [Thinking: "oh, dearie."] “Why is Rehit’s sword a direct
payment to Thenel?”

Bwipin:“Oh, Rehit is Thenel’s fiancé. Has been for
years, actually; they’re taking their time getting married. Still, all in
the family. They both think you’re quite a fine gentleman and wizard,
even if you are a bit questionable in some aspects.”

Me:“Oh, I see.”

Bwipin peered at me a bit worriedly. Cani can’t read minds, but they can read
bodies; I’m sure I came off as thunderstruck. Fortunately there’s a Cani on
my side, too. (A real one. All of us looked like Cani, but without the
training of growing up Cani, we don’t get the body-reading tricks.)

Phaniet: “I’m not entirely sure that last healing spell had a
full effect, Sythyry.”

Me:“Nor am I. Excuse me a moment … and, where’s the privy?”

Phaniet:“Over there … Actually, I’ll come with you, if I
may.”

Privately…

When we were behind the ornate tapestry screen, and hopefully out of sight, I
abducted Phaniet into a private corner of space and time, and exploded for a
while. Along the lines of:

Me:“How could he possibly not mention having a
fiancé?”

Phaniet:“You didn’t actually talk with him all that much, from
what you’ve told me.”

Me: fume whinge complain

Phaniet:“And he seemed pretty shy about personal matters. Which
isn’t an excuse, just an explanation.”

Me: mope grackle whine

And, for variety,

Me:“So, is he cisaffectionate or transaffectionate?”

Phaniet:“I don’t know. Bwipin did say they’d been engaged
for a long time. Perhaps there’s something defective about the
relationship: and perhaps it’s that Thenel is traff?”

And even:

Me:“So what am I? The home-breaker?”

Phaniet:“You’re the lizard with the serious crush, is what you
are. I have never seen you like this.”

Which is true. I haven’t felt quite like this for over a century, before I
met Mynthë and didn’t date (or get disappointed) quite so much.

And of course:

Me:“What should I do?”

Phaniet:“Calm down, go pee, wash your face, let me brush your fur
smooth, and go back and enjoy the rest of dinner.”

Me:“No! I mean, what should I do?”

Phaniet:“Either break up with Thenel, or have a long and detailed
talk with him and hear his side of the story. He is obviously a very
private person; there’s surely more going on than you know yet.”

Me:“Oh. So I don’t need to break up with him because he’s a
sneaky cheater and really cisaffectionate?”

Phaniet:“If, after you investigate, you discover that
he is a sneaky chater and really cisaffectionate, I would advise
you to break up with him unless he’s a really good lover. Even
then, you’d probably be better off with Inconnu, from a moral point of
view.”

Me:“Oh. OK.”

Phaniet:“In the mean time, can you get collected enough to not be
too awful at Bwipin?”

Me:“I don’t care about Bwipin. He’s not even your real
friend. He’s your clan-assigned friend, and he’s more loyal to Eigrach
than he ever will be to you.”

Phaniet:“Of course. He’s my real friend too, but just of a lesser
degree. Obviously I don’t trust him in all respects. But he’s fairly
good company … you were having a good time chatting with him until two
minutes ago in the real world. You just have to know what his loyalties
are and what they require of him. Right now, they seem to require having
an extremely delicious if poisonous dinner with us. When you’re ready,
shall we go back and enjoy it?”

I wasn’t ready for another hour and two-thirds or some such. Fortunately it
was only a few minutes by everyone else’s time.

I was pretty quiet for the rest of the meal.