I will start from the end this time.
- Lesson 1: Never, ever keep a nendrai around the house.
- Lesson 2: If, for some reason, you are obliged to violate Lesson 1, keep the nendrai out of reach of children and other small fragile beings (viz. everyone).
- Lesson 3: If, for some reason, you cannot manage lesson 2 either, educate your children very well in how to behave around the nendrai.
- Codicil to Lesson 3: Children, even very obedient ones, can be very literal about how you educate them. Beware phrasing like “Never ask Vae to give you anything.”
- Lesson 4: Have a responsible adult around at all times.
- Lesson 5: Be aware that Lesson 4 does not actually help.
- Lesson 6: You really should have stuck with Lesson 1.
Windigar has few actual duties at the moment, since Strayway is not going anywhere. This means that he can give himself useful or amusing alternate duties. This morning, he picked the alternate duty of playing Pong the Wasserflorn (an easy game, suitable for several young players) with the children: Ochirion, Feralan, and Quendry. This is Useful and sometimes even Self-Sacrificing Duty, since relatively few adults play Pong the Wasserflorn voluntarily amongst themselves. This was at one end of the Great Dining Hall.
The topic turned to the upcoming wedding.
Quendry:“Who else is marrying Lithia? Windigar, are you marrying Lithia?”
Windigar:“No, she’s not really my type.” (By which he means that he is cisaffectionate and Lithia is not always the same species, or, perhaps, he is significantly her elder, or, perhaps, he is too sensible to get involved with the boss’s quasi-daughter.)
Quendry:“But only one wife? What if she needs a husband or a mate or a sister-sister?”
Windigar:“Lithia is getting married as an Orren. You’re thinking of a Cani marriage, which has all those things. Orren don’t.”
Quendry:“Oh! I know! That is easier!”
Windigar:“Why is it easier?”
Ochirion:“Because we only have to get two people presents, dummy!”
Windigar:“That is true! Have you thought about what present to give her?”
Ochirion:“Maybe a fish?” He ponged the wasserflorn, grinned, and passed the dice to Feralan.
Windigar:“A live fish?”
Ochirion:“A fried fish! Every Orren likes a fried fish!”
Windigar:“No, a wedding present shouldn’t be food, especially not food that you need to eat right then.”
Feralan:“Maybe a pair of copper drinking chalices?” He rolled the dice, and got only a squince.
Windigar:“Pick something you can afford!”
Quendry:“Could we afford a watch? Lithia would like a watch! She could know when she is about to get all sore every hour!”
Windigar:“I’m not sure she wants to know that much…”
Feralan:“That’s a great idea! I bet we could afford a watch!”
Ochirion:“Windigar, will you help us afford on a watch?”
Windigar:“Let me talk to your parents about that. A nice watch does make a good present, and I think a few families could manage a pair of them, if we pool our money together.” He rolled the dice, and got within one move of ponging the wasserflorn himself.
Quendry:“Yay! I want to get Lithia the bestest watch on the whole World Tree!”
Windigar:“Well, a reasonably nice watch, anyways.”
Ochirion:“No! The bestmost watch is the watch for Lithia!”
Windigar:“You can help pick it out, Ochirion.”
At which point, Feralan noticed that Vae was sitting some ways down the hall from them, and listening in, as she often does. He thought, “I’m not supposed to ask Vae to give me anything. But I’m not asking for me, I’m asking for Lithia.”
Feralan:“Vae? Would you like to help us give the best watch in the World Tree for Lithia?”
Windigar:“Fera…”
Vae:“The yes! The love I have for Lithia is dear, and the good wishes for her Orren marriage I have are vast!”
Windigar:“Vae, could you just put some money into the pool, and we’ll all pay for the watch together?”
Vae:“Not so little will I do for Lithia and Something-Eyes!”
And she scooped up the three boys, Windigar, and herself in a wild whirl of Locador magic, and they were all gone from Strayway, and from all of Srineia.
The Locador blast woke me up, and I came in a hurry to interrogate the witnesses, and try to reassure Zascalle, Thiane, Arfaen, and Mellilot that their children would be safe. I didn’t do a very good job. I wasn’t even able to persuade myself that they would be safe. I myself have been killed vacationing with Vae.
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So it needs to be “never ask Vae to give anyone anything”?
I’m sure the kids will squrirm a way around it no matter how you put it. The Doom is Kids are resourceful that way!
I’m surprised. Usually when children get whisked away to a magical adventure, they reappear the same instant that they left. I hope that doesn’t mean the dark lord *won*. O.O
Please tell me they didn’t pop off to ask Kaimiri’s assistance for a watch…
I think that can be shortened to “never ask Vae anything.”
Or just about any phrase starting “Never [x] Vae . . .”
Events here have me imagining the poor kids stuck on a transdimensional adventure involving tardy white rabbits and piratical hat-makers.
Oh dear. I’m afraid my mind immediately ran to White Rabbits as well.
And they’re too young to be having ADVENTURES! Aren’t they?
Quendry’s had several already… he must be a doom magnet in his own right.
“Mother, Me and Sister and Little Sis are going on an Adventure!”
“No you’re not! Get back here this instance! Adventure indeed!”
“Aww, but Mom! The Dragon needs tickling!”
“Not until After dinnertime. Back to your room with you! What would your father say? Ah, Not another word!”
*collective whine*
I read that as Practical Hatmakers… and heaven forbid they come back with Practical Hats!
You REALLY ought to teach your nendrai not to kidnap your staff or their children. Unless POSSIBLY if all of Srineia is so backwater there are no perfectly decent watches to be found there.
Soooo … have you gotten ’round to binding Heal the Awful Wound for everyone on the Strayway yet? Just wondering. Not that I’d be expecting them to need it, of course!
This doom I did not expect. Yay!
Wait.. what? You’re dead now?
No, of course not. I am a great deal less eloquent when I am dead … and for several days afterwards.
I love the title!
Death, if treated with alacrity, is not an incurable condition on World Tree.
I wouldn’t worry too terribly?
The Universe tends to be astoundingly forgiving towards children on adventures, and those children often seem to be remarkably resilient when the Universe isn’t as forgiving as it usually is. And they often come back with valuable lessons having been learned.
Well, I can certainly hope for the resilience.
Actually, that would be very, very much less-doomy then several alternatives; if they’re going to visit Kaimiri, it will take some time, due to the distance away the moon is, but so long as Vae can remember to feed the children, there’s little to threaten them. If that’s the case, there is also likely a sticky note in one of the assistant’s instructions that says “when three children an a nendrai arrive, give them the watch in the corner”.
Now, if they’re going to actually seek a watch in prime territories, they will have to A) get money, B) get into a city (which hopefully Vae will remember she shouldn’t do), and C) avoid Vae doing something terrible or illegal to get the money, or the watch directly. And so forth.
Quite likely Vae will be searching outside cities for a suitable watch. But those primes won’t be any happier to have a nendrai, an Orren, and three young children suddenly appear, no matter how sensible the Orren is(assuming Windigar manages to stay mentally balanced or, failing that, return to that state in a timely fashion – he might do, but he’d hardly be to blame if he couldn’t).
There’s also the grand problem of what Vae might think is “best” – which, since it’s not for her, might or might not be a creation of primes…
Quendry, for one, has already shown it; yes, he had nightmares after The Incident with the Pirates, but he wasn’t nearly as weighed down by them as the adults were.
I’d more worry that they might NOT adequately learn from the experience. They might come back thinking “Oooh, that was exciting, can we do it again?”
I’m guessing those earmuffs might need a bit of tuning…